Saturday, January 4, 2014

January 4, 2014

I roll the dice seemingly everyday. I've always had the gambling itch of sorts, I guess. You've seen it here on the blog, with me practically begging readers to place a bet on the Kentucky Derby, just for giggles. In a finance class, against the grain, frowned upon, and a move that probably should've cost me my degree, I told the professor I'd flip a coin to win or lose a grand. Perhaps it's taken me this long to realize I'm an adrenaline junkie and choose to get such rushes through the gamble. I wouldn't say I'm fearless, nor careless, because I'm very wary of such attributes and their existence in my thought we'll stick with adrenaline junkie. Wait for the skydiving blog...just kidding, don't.

Why do I start a blog like this? Well, quite frankly, everything I choose to do entails a certain acceptance of risk. Now, Sloan Kettering of course will offer me anything in their arsenal to combat this disease, which of course is commendable. However, their arsenal is devoid of weapons that can get me into remission. On the other hand, they do have some things that can help the time I have left be of the best quality possible, such as radiating the bones that are showing activity in my spine in order to avoid, or at least delay, paralysis. Sounds great if you've accepted the ending they've written. I can't just yet.

So what am I doing? Well I'm going to do what makes sense to me, what I think will benefit me best. I think I've earned the right to be a little selfish when it comes to my medical care nowadays. As a result, I'm heading back to Mexico, getting some treatment there, then coming back and getting radiation to the spots showing activity on my latest PET scan. They delay of radiation is a bit of a risk, but one that I have to take. I have a tough time believing the treatment does nothing, given the reactions I've had after the fevers. I'll finally be able to get the full treatment down there, because in this time being home, my platelet numbers (and even my white blood cell count) have rebounded quite well. At least they're giving me the hope that I could possibly achieve a remission - and so, of course, this is my choice.

Here's to tamales, fevers, and good riddance to tumors. Viva Mexico!


  1. I'm thinking your decision isn't that much of a gamble. Why not take the route you've chosen? Worth a shot and little to lose! I like the's an "efficient" bet as this typist would maintain. Perhaps not as efficient as the show bet on the 6 horse when the money's pouring in on him to win but little on the show. But,'s a shot! Take it and here's to success.
    Now, back to those little senoritas......
    Much love..........Doc

  2. Good luck Nicky Mo we are all rooting for you You Gotta Believe Never Give up you know the deal Motts

  3. Nick! Was just passed this to me - I write for BC over at SB Nation. Was trying to somehow get in touch with you so we can chat when you get a second. Send me an email when you can (it should be tied to my google account).

    Best, Dan

  4. Nick,
    You are in my prayers and thoughts everyday. Good for you for pressing forward. We all believe in you and are all rooting for you!!

  5. Nick,
    You are the most courageous person I know. To me, the opportunities missed by not taking risks stack up to a life filled with regret. Your risk taking is calculated and based to some extent on your gut instincts. Trust them. Love you much.

  6. Nick, Good Luck with the treatment in Mexico! It's worth taking the risk. Never stop BELIEVING and HOPING. It's these two attributes that will sustain you in the fight. Love you and pray for you everyday. Mrs. V