January 27, 2014

Had to actually reread the last blog to see where I left off...it's been a while eh?

Let's try to update this piece. The shuffle is strong, real strong. Walking in no time, I can feel it. Every hit of the radiation helps to relieve the pain caused by this lower back tumor activity. However, everyday, a new challenge presents itself. Now I've been getting some pretty strong pain from tumor activity in my left hip/leg. Radiation on deck for that.

What have I been up to? Well to be quite frank I absolutely had to get out of the house after being stuck in the sleep->chair->radiation->chair->sleep cycle. I was lucky enough to make it to the Stadium Series game, Devils vs. Rangers, at Yankee Stadium to watch some good outdoor puck...or at least some outdoor puck.  Don't get me wrong a nice, dominating Rangers win will never send me away melancholy - but I felt bad for the goalies, man. In the words of Bart Scott a couple of years ago, they couldn't stop a nosebleed. Big shoutout to Natalie and George for helping a brother to enjoy that game, hope you're out there reading this!

We'll keep up the radiation through this week...and then see where we can go from there for a future plan of action. Stay tuned for that. Until later, I leave you with a picture of myself and the sad, sad Devils fan I got to enjoy the game with. Respect that beard. Later all.

 

January 22, 2014

We are moving along. No literally, I'm moving around decently okay by myself. Can walk to the bathroom and back, get my shuffle on to the kitchen, even make my way up the stairs to bed in a slow and steady manner. Progress!

We're about halfway through the radiation schedule I believe. Haven't bumped the pain meds up, just ratcheted them down, actually. Anti-inflammatories remain constant. Days are quite monotonous. Wake up, drive down to Sloan, get the cocktail of meds running through the veins, grab some rays, drive on home. Repeat. Tons of chair life and not too much great entertainment on the TV to bail us out.

Maybe I'll get into some bootleg movies? I dunno. I heard American Hustle and Wolf of Wall Street were worth seeing...maybe I'll try to make those moves. Although perhaps this should serve as a note to self that if there's simply nothing better to I should maybe try writing some stuff. Weird grounds there though, for me. Despite you sitting there actually reading this blog, I still find it difficult to believe anyone wants to read my malarkey. Yet here I am, and there you are...so ha. I'll try to make your time spent worth it.

To be honest, it's rather tough to do much with the pain meds. Scrambled eggs upstairs when they're onboard. Trust me, I don't hate it when it takes the pains of moving around/laying down away, but the Pink Floyd-like gibberish that I'd be spitting on the blog if I wrote under the influence would probably throw the blog world for a loop. We'll see what I come up with.

Until these new developments...farewell all. Keep on keepin' on folks...and stay warm ahhhhhhh ermagherd polar vortex part two it's all over! Relax and bundle up. Wear a blanket around...take it from your boy. It's magic.

January 20, 2014

Happy MLK Day, world!

What's new in the goings-on of life...not much at all. But it's been a while since I've provided a blog post so I figure I owe you one. I sit in a chair for upwards of twelve hours a day, making sure I get my pills every six hours on the dot. Sometimes I can find a comfortable position within the friendly confines of the chair, and bed for that matter, which is really a time to behold and relish. Other times, misery takes control and you just pray for the pain to go away swiftly.

Football was at the very least exciting for a bit yesterday, so that's some solid entertainment value to note. I think there are NBA games on today but I don't really enjoy watching NBA games for whatever reason, so I'm almost lucky radiation is scheduled for around midday. Hopefully the radiation keeps doing its thing and getting me a bit better day by day - I mean when I was down there for the first treatment last Wednesday the pain was legitimately near unbearable. With the nice combo of pain meds and timing at least I can get down on the table for treatment - not without a struggle, but still gets the job done.

The fight is real. Unfortunately it appears the slope is getting steeper, and with my current ability to walk (literally and figuratively) a little more than questionable, things certainly aren't looking as cheery as they once were. Yet we power on, just like any other day, don't we? Amen. Here's to a better tomorrow!

January 17, 2014

Greetings people. Awesome news: I've slept the past two nights...massive development. Logic was correct, Sloan knows what it's doing relative to pain management. Despite waking up each of the past two mornings in extreme, nearly screaming pain, I'm getting better about my planning and pill taking and it seems to be better. Let's keep it going.

So what have I been up to recently? Well it's been managing the pain (making sure I take the allotted meds on the intervals indicated) and getting the radiation I was set up for. Currently, I've been getting the radiation to the troublesome L2 vertebra region and the concerning C2 region. After 3 treatments, whether it's due to the streamlining of the pain meds or getting a couple of radiation treatments under my belt (or perhaps even both), the pain is getting better and more bearable.

Let's fill you all in on the return trip home and the past couple of days, in full. The fight from Los Angeles to New York was rather intriguing. I got loaded up with steroids to keep my pain tolerable at around 1 o'clock on Tuesday afternoon. The docs down south said that should cover you for 24 hours, no problem (aka until 4 on Wednesday, Eastern time). We didn't get to Sloan until around 1 on Wednesday...21 hours later, thanks to a diversion to Hartford because the pilot couldn't land in the fog surrounding JFK. And let me tell you, the steroids certainly did not last 24 hours, so it was a severely fun last leg of that trip!

After finally getting to Sloan and getting the good stuff on board (steroid, anti-inflammatory, and good ole dilaudid), I got in to get radiation started that night. Thank the sweet Lord for the technician, Guy, the resident, Dr. Barron, and the radiation oncologist's fellow, Dr. Sutten, for their patience. It took me about 15 minutes to find a position that could work for me to lay down where I could handle the amount of pain that resulted from being on the treatment table. For a while, we weren't sure it could get done because of how accurate radiation treatments must be. We made it work. Luckily, it's been getting better to get on the table, which has been the main highlight of each day since. Hope it continues to improve.

In other news, BC Interruption (a beat blog for my beloved Boston College) caught up with me and wrote a nice little piece on the Nick Modico story. If you're interested, give it a read. I think it was really well done and am very humbled and proud to have been asked to participate on the site in this fashion. We are BC!

Until later...have a great weekend everyone - enjoy the football or the last gasps of warm-ish weather in the Northeast.

January 14, 2014

The best laid plans...

So as I had mentioned in the previous blog post, pain was gaining on me as I tire running from it and sleep had become conspicuously absent from me. Two things when apart are simply "no bueno" but when, as they do more often than not, occur simultaneously lead to a very bad situation for the person experiencing such. Moves needed to be made.

Moves have been made. After pumping up some pain relief meds, I'm taking my talents back to the east coast (best coast). I currently sit in LAX, an airport renowned for having paparazzi and media crawling its not-so-hallowed halls and jetways, celebrity sightings, and even the non-famous trying-to-get-famous dressed to the nines with their Louis Vuitton carry-on bags, wearing a long sleeve Under Armour camouflage hunting shirt, Boston College Athletics general issue sweatpants, and Uggs slippers. I have reached a whole new level of A) not caring and B) use of hyphens in one run-on sentence.

The logic here is that pain management is better at Sloany Ketts than anywhere else. I'm already tattooed up and ready to go for radiation, which could help, and will get my rather large tushion over to York Avenue within minutes of landing to commence any other remedies that may be available for the one and only Nicky Mo. Praying for the best, as always.

Spirits are pretty high for a guy who hasn't slept in days and has that 10 out of 10 pain level, no? I ask you this: is there any other way? Let's get back home and keep fighting on. Here's to a better tomorrow!

January 13, 2014

What's up everyone? The weather down here puts your weather to shame. Don't care where you are, you can't beat 75 and no humidity. Can't do it. Wish I had some more time to enjoy it.

How are things going? Eh, okay at best. The back pain is real, sleep is slim, and this makes treatment tough. I've personally maintained that all of this treatment is possible only because I get a good night's sleep each night. Those days are gone, hopefully just for now. Praying for treatment this week to kick the pain away for good. The good news is that pain pills (simple like Advil) seem to help take some of the pain away for now. Also in the good news realm is that my blood numbers are currently not too bad, looks like I may be able to get chemo again this week which is just excellent.

What am I up to now? Casually crushing a fever after just having a nice homemade dinner via the Bigfoot. What a woman. After taking my seemingly 37,000 supplements, I'm back in bed trying to find a comfortable position to relax for a bit. Who knows, maybe I'll be lucky enough to grab some shut-eye.

We fight on. Until another time folks.

January 9, 2014

Breaking radio silence here. He's back, baby. It's almost like Tijuana was waiting for its king to return, yanno? Alright it wasn't like that at all.

So I made moves down to get tatted up again for radiation at Sloany Ketts (team tatted, round 3) before slipping out of the country once more. Since I've gotten tattoos for all these little radiation treatments, each new tattoo set must be distinct from the previous - thus, each tattoo spot has 3 dots now. Nicky Mo, with his love of needles got poked up 15 times in 5 minutes. Guess who's never, ever getting a tattoo?

Full credit for getting here goes to Bigfoot's incredible skill for instantaneous tears, which got us from a cancelled flight onto a flight that had 2 seats left headed to Long Beach, CA. Bigfoot can't stop, won't stop. Straight up dominating the customer service game. A little drive later and we were back in San Diego with our border crossing to occur on Monday morning - not a day too soon. Pain started to mess with me on the way to the airport Sunday and progressed over the next couple of days. Luckily, treatment down here has halted the pain in its tracks and it seems to me that I'm feeling at least a little bit better day after day. I think a big key was being able to get chemo yesterday; feel like that has potentially helped big time - hope the counts stay up so we can do that again next week.

What else is new? Nothing really. Jumping on the Bolts Bandwagon while I'm down here because why not? Funny to see a city who couldn't come close to selling out a game and getting blacked out on TV transform into a support force wearing bolo ties and "Believe: Rivers Rising" shirts like they're going out of style (they might be going out of style...).

As always, we fight on. Until the next update, stay warm up there folks. Remember, if you're ever chilly, a few blankets and a hot water bottle disguised as a lamb always does the trick.

January 4, 2014

I roll the dice seemingly everyday. I've always had the gambling itch of sorts, I guess. You've seen it here on the blog, with me practically begging readers to place a bet on the Kentucky Derby, just for giggles. In a finance class, against the grain, frowned upon, and a move that probably should've cost me my degree, I told the professor I'd flip a coin to win or lose a grand. Perhaps it's taken me this long to realize I'm an adrenaline junkie and choose to get such rushes through the gamble. I wouldn't say I'm fearless, nor careless, because I'm very wary of such attributes and their existence in my thought process...so we'll stick with adrenaline junkie. Wait for the skydiving blog...just kidding, don't.

Why do I start a blog like this? Well, quite frankly, everything I choose to do entails a certain acceptance of risk. Now, Sloan Kettering of course will offer me anything in their arsenal to combat this disease, which of course is commendable. However, their arsenal is devoid of weapons that can get me into remission. On the other hand, they do have some things that can help the time I have left be of the best quality possible, such as radiating the bones that are showing activity in my spine in order to avoid, or at least delay, paralysis. Sounds great if you've accepted the ending they've written. I can't just yet.

So what am I doing? Well I'm going to do what makes sense to me, what I think will benefit me best. I think I've earned the right to be a little selfish when it comes to my medical care nowadays. As a result, I'm heading back to Mexico, getting some treatment there, then coming back and getting radiation to the spots showing activity on my latest PET scan. They delay of radiation is a bit of a risk, but one that I have to take. I have a tough time believing the treatment does nothing, given the reactions I've had after the fevers. I'll finally be able to get the full treatment down there, because in this time being home, my platelet numbers (and even my white blood cell count) have rebounded quite well. At least they're giving me the hope that I could possibly achieve a remission - and so, of course, this is my choice.

Here's to tamales, fevers, and good riddance to tumors. Viva Mexico!